Posts Tagged Funny pages

Golfers headache

A Catholic priest, an Indian doctor, a rich Chinese businessman and an Italian from New Jersey were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

The Italian from New Jersey fumed,
‘What’s with those jerks? We’re waiting fifteen minutes between shots!’

The Indian doctor chimed in, ‘I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such poor golf!’

The Chinese businessman called out, ‘Move it, time is money!’

The Catholic priest said, ‘Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. Excuse me, sir!’ said the priest, ‘What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?’

The greens keeper replied, ‘Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.’

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic priest said, ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.’

The Indian doctor said, ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything that he might be able to do for them.’

The Chinese businessman replied, ‘I think I’ll donate $50,000 to the fire fighters union in honor of these brave souls!’

The Italian from New Jersey said, ‘Why the fuck can’t they play at night?

[What did the Jersey boys do??]

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The black swan …

What is this MIB .. Roger Federer doing here? Hmmmmm … …

The match between Jelena Jankovic and Sorana Cirstea was pretty exciting. The 19 years old Romanian won in 3rd set 9:7 – many guesty shots and gut wrenching moment. The stadium was packed. Mary Carillo kept on saying that the crowds were there for Andy Roddick vs Gael Monfils. Brad Gilbert predicted that Andy would win in 3 straight sets. Well, the drama king Gael wiped Andy out in three sets. So gone the last American man.

Go Serena Go …

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Golf course or intercourse?

What?!? A wife enjoys these many privileges and demands? I must be a total mess and failurer ..


Four married guys go golfing During the 4th hole the
following conversation took place:

1st Guy:
‘You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come
out golfing this weekend.. I had to promise my wife that I
will paint every room in the house next weekend.’

2nd Guy:
‘That’s nothing; I had to promise my wife that I
will build her a new deck for the pool.’

3rd Guy:
‘Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife
that I will remodel the kitchen for her.’

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the
fourth guy has Not said a word.

So they ask him, ‘You haven’t said anything about
what you had to do to be able to come golfing this
weekend. What’s the deal?’

4th guy:
‘I just set my alarm for 5:30am. When it went off, I
gave the wife a slap on the ass and said: ‘Golf course
or intercourse?’ She said: ‘Wear sun-block’


Golfer’s foursome consists two married and two singles. It never failed that the bachelors would hurry off from the bar, every time. The two married with children find that amusing.
Waldo, what are you rushing home for?

Comments (2)

Did he get the point?

Did Andy Roddick get the ace?

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Djokovic the joker

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Matrimonial Advice From A Considerate Husband

      It is  important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder  for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were  younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there’s nothing worse than an over sensitive woman.

My name is Jeff.  Let me relate how I handled the situation  with my wife, Susie.Since I retired several years ago, it has  become necessary for Susie to get a full-time job along with her part-time  job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we  needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was  beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the  same time she gets home from work.Although she knows how hungry I  am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before  she starts dinner. I don’t yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her  time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have  lunch in the Men’s Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I’m  ready for some home-cooked g rub when I hit that door.

She used to  do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it’s not unusual for  them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can  by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won’t  clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to  motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another  symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it  is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her  lunch hour. But, boys, we take ’em for better or worse, so I just smile  and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even  three Edays. That way she won’t have to rush so much. I also remind her  that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn’t hurt her any (if you  know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong  points.When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more  rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished  mowing the yard.

I try not to make a scene. I’m a fair man. I tell her to  fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just  sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as  well make one for me too.I know that I probably look like a saint  in the way I support Susie. I’m not saying that showing this much  consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it  impossible!

 Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as  they get older.However, guys, even if you just use a little more  tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will  consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on  this earth to help each other.Sincerely,  Jeff


Jeff  died suddenly on March 1 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he  was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf  club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a  sledge hammer laying nearby.His wife Susie was arrested and  charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her  Not Guilty, accepting her defence that Jeff somehow, without looking,  accidentally sat down on his golf club.  

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Kobe Bryant jumps over an Aston Martin

If you didn’t catch this last week, then watch it here .. Kenny Smith ..

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